What's all this

What's all this
even for
what's all this
meant for
what's all this
in a little bit
what's all this
should I just quit
and give up what's started
or jump like a frog
to escape it all
and just be what could be

I hold back

I hold back
I give back
I push forward
it all comes back
the spur of excitement
the thrill of a rush
talking subsides
walking bustling through
then a show
a show just for you
ba da ba doo la ee oh
da dop a dee doo da
zee oh zap a dee wo
I close my eyes
and see you
I hold my breath
and it's just not enough
I hold back
I give back
but it's never enough

All along

The snap crackle pop twist
of drum sticks and brushes
the hush hush howl
of the saxophone's sub-tone
the click clack
of the keys zooming across scales
and the boom bang
of the piano's crashing, vibrant stride

a tuning note hums across the stage
and the time is set in stone
with a coy smile the bandleader
steps in front and holds out a trumpet

soon the music is off and running
a wind whirls across the stage
as cool as winter lakes
while the breeze gusts and spins
a haunting melody
a chilling harmony
a beautiful rhythm

so haunting, familiarly unfamiliar
it is as if the sound wasn't improvised
but really there all along

The sound of nothing

hissing
rattling
phasing in and out
snap crackle snap clap!
honk screech clap!
the sun melts the snow

breathing
in and out
faint murmurs of hazy vowels
a broad register of cackles
children playing outside
snow angels etched in a coat of dust

the bend of branches
the pool of plowed snow
the fragile melting
drip drop drip drop!
snap pop drip drop drip!

birds cooing and chirping
squirrels shuffling up trees
as leaves rustle and bustle
acorns dropping plip plop!
in the woods creatures scurry
dash dish dash dish whoosh whish!

the sound of nothing
as in a perfectly humming movie
hardly to notice.

The same sun

I dodge around on edge
as if expecting to find you in
a tiny corner or crevice
hidden in the dark

You know, that secret part of you
in the shadows or as a ghost,
the part we don't show?

Lost in a maze, searching through faces,
bumping into others starry-eyed, lost, fixated

Each footstep hypnotizes me into
the rhythm of a heartbeat, I turn my head
to see if you are there, disappointed

I desire for you to appear

But what if that desire is selfish?

If I wished enough would it happen?

What would happen if it did?

I dream a little glimmer of the truth

My mind's eyes sometimes even
forgets what you look like

Am I searching for a feeling or a face?

Maybe the desire is right
within me:

Comfort, kindness, peace,
motivation, inspiration,
excitement, acceptance, warmth,
trust, beauty, adventure, wisdom?

Am I capable of the strength I found within you?

Am I worthy of these feelings alone?

Am I even searching or just stumbling?

Living vicariously
through what I found in you
I am left drained of perspective

I feel nutty, nervous, empty
yet thrilled by an essence

My life is forever changed

Peace is not exclusive

The light I found in you comes from
the same sun I bask in,
the same sun I was born to witness,

the same sun I hope to meet you under
when I uncover my self from the shadows first.

The thing about greed

The

the thing

the thing about

the thing about greed

the thing about greed is

the thing about greed is that

the thing about greed is that it doesn't

the thing about greed is that it doesn't share

the thing about greed is that it doesn't share or

the thing about greed is that it doesn't share or even

the thing about greed is that it doesn't share or even care.

There's no such thing as moderation

There's no such thing as moderation

what I love I love to my fullest

what I live for I live for my fullest

what I want I desire with all my heart

when I wake up I embrace the day with a smile, not an apathetic yawn

when I walk I take strides, not tiny footsteps as to be silent

when I smile I show all my teeth, not a half smile or grin

when I talk I exclaim, not muffle or garble words with gray eyes down to the ground

With moderation comes complacency

and to progress means to go full force
to do, to act, to be
to the fullest

as to bring change in its purest sense.