Wednesday, October 5, 2016

The same sun

I dodge around on edge
as if expecting to find you in
a tiny corner or crevice
hidden in the dark

You know, that secret part of you
in the shadows or as a ghost,
the part we don't show?

Lost in a maze, searching through faces,
bumping into others starry-eyed, lost, fixated

Each footstep hypnotizes me into
the rhythm of a heartbeat, I turn my head
to see if you are there, disappointed

I desire for you to appear

But what if that desire is selfish?

If I wished enough would it happen?

What would happen if it did?

I dream a little glimmer of the truth

My mind's eyes sometimes even
forgets what you look like

Am I searching for a feeling or a face?

Maybe the desire is right
within me:

Comfort, kindness, peace,
motivation, inspiration,
excitement, acceptance, warmth,
trust, beauty, adventure, wisdom?

Am I capable of the strength I found within you?

Am I worthy of these feelings alone?

Am I even searching or just stumbling?

Living vicariously
through what I found in you
I am left drained of perspective

I feel nutty, nervous, empty
yet thrilled by an essence

My life is forever changed

Peace is not exclusive

The light I found in you comes from
the same sun I bask in,
the same sun I was born to witness,

the same sun I hope to meet you under
when I uncover my self from the shadows first.

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